Back Home

Needing to write after so many long long weeks away from stable ground. I have been traveling all over Oregon and California for the last 2.5 months. I left room for no expectations, and yet here I am home; very happy to be and also yearning for more of that spirit glide wind under my wings. I settle into a more stable schedule and the transition is actually very easy, something I have done many times before. I guess I am grateful for the practiced comfort of constant change. I am constantly watching my self-talk and transforming my self judgment into self nurturing and truth speaking. It is very very shocking now that I have began to notice just how much I unconsciously sabotage myself with my negative mind talk, how easy it is to slip into old patterns of being angry, weak, lazy, disturbed by everything around me. Living in a city again is the hardest transition. There is the street fair tonight and I tried to ride my bike down the middle, and there were so many people, so much noise pollution, so much swearing, chaos, anger, fear, disturbing energies that I just gave up. Three years ago this street fair was very different, more innocent and focused on the arts and expressing love. The innocent spirit of Love is so easily molested by false desire and show.

I am writing to just put some things down and in clearer perspective. i feel I may need to move out of my house. As I become more sensitive to energy, living so close to a busy street is quite draining. School has started and I would like a calm place to study. Ah! I want to be close to land! Traveling has put me on some gorgeous pieces of land and yet nothing felt like home. Is there a way I can live in the city and still feel close to nature? Is there a way to do this sanely?

My focus now is to be in school, Really take care of myself, love, laugh, be light, enjoy myself more. I have energetically closed myself to lower vibrating energies and have opened myself up to higher waves of love - especially when it comes to those who are coming into my life in a more affectionate, loving way. My life partner has not shown up yet and I take this to mean that I am still very much focusing on developing my own inner landscape. I am expanding my awareness and my capacity to hold loving, clear space for myself and others. I am developing my mind to understand and hold the immensity of this universe and this time that we are alive. I am also trying to put my ego in check! Meditation, observation, breathing, loving myself and engaging in the Welcoming Process and Conscious Freedom work have both been very essential. Engaging in private meditation with a new spiritual teacher has also been very very helpful. I also plan on getting regular reiki attunements, as the chaos energies are becoming more and more disturbing. Finding clean, quiet, authentic spaced to be in is more of a challenge. Even my home is somewhat disturbed.

I reached out today, feeling my inner mind begin to grasp hold of something outside of me. At one moment feeling lonely, as if no one understands. And then the soothing and calming presence of my guides and Angels became so crystal clear. I felt held by them, which is unusual, for their presence is usually very very subtle. What a gift that was!

This summer has been a lot of holding space for others and I am learning how to do it without taking on anyone else's drama, toxicity, negativity, pain, struggle, confusion. I found myself processing and thinking about others struggles long after my help was utilized. This left me drained and depleted. My tendency is to over think and analyze these situations to try to come up with better solutions. This is not helpful for me or for the situations I am referring to. Whatever I am being called to do or be in service for takes place in that moment and no more. The lesson then is to be fully present for it and then completely cut the chord when it is over. Weather it be listening to someone's internal process or struggle, holding the conscious heart space between two arguing friends, doing a healing for someone, even preparing a meal for someone - all of these types of services are meant to be done in the moment and then let go of. If I hold on to the argument days or even weeks after it is over, I am still depleting my very life force! I was cutting chords left and right this last week as I became aware of how much i was holding that wasn't even mine!

My intention is to shut my phone off more and focus inward, replenish and shape my days very artistically around clean and clear energy, love, beauty, and happiness. Lets see how it goes! I release negative, depleting thoughts, actions, and emotions! I welcome Love, Ease, Peace, Affection, Affirmation, and Beauty!

Razia - Mifohaza

Orchid Bees - Euglossa

experiencing the thin line of love and fear

Hello! Just when you think everything is made and the work is over, life hands me another huge piece of it! Lately I have been working to dismantle the outer layer of the false self and gingerly reveal the true self underneath. Very challenging work! What is this layer of elephant skin which hugs me so closely? Like an oversized Fireman's suit, it weighs me down and keeps me very secure and heavy in the face of so much perceived danger. Around others I am constantly watchful and weary or their scrutiny (really my own mind playing tricks on me). When I judge others, judge myself, hold myself stiff and tight it feels sharp and painful. I look to others for love to keep me from experiencing this suffering. I look to my phone messages, emails, positive looks and words from others to give me my worth and value. What keeps me from loving myself? What keeps me from being open and vulnerable in any situation? The more I study this life, the more I see that there really is nothing to be scared of. I know that this body is not all there is, I know that anything which happens comes purely in the divine will of the Creator. What then keeps me from bareing witness to my soul, openly loving my body, my path, my relationships, and my life? As if there were some outside scale with which to weigh what is worhty and what is not worthy. And writing this now, I see the self wearing this Iron Suit as worthy, as loved, as remarkably strong - only in this life to learn what that experience is like. She too is perfect. How to love all the selves which show up to experience this life?

I am ready to release this suit though. It keeps me from my freedom, from my soul essence, from my simple connection with the Creator. It is another device of separation - all energetic and created by the beliefs I made on my past experiences.


I asked my soul: what is keeping me from loving myself?
My soul answered: There is no space here to love.

This tightness which governs my good/bad and right/wrong keeps me imprisoned. As I breathe I let in the spaciousness which my soul desires, I let in all the fear and doubt. I let in even the pain of longing to be loved. Singing to the trees, naked to the world, gently stroking the peremeter of this encasement I ask, I ask, I ask:

Please release me.

I release you. I release you. I release you.

May my heart be on fire. My my soul know freedom. May my mind express openly without ego.

I release you tightness, hardship, anger, laziness and passivity, I release the self which uses others to determine her worth. I release the self which closes with fear when there is unknown, when there is no one there holding her, when the mind creates thin walls of thought and belief.

I release you. I release you. I release you.

May my heart be filled with love. My my soul know my true path. My my mind learn to drop away from doubt.

Divine Mother and Father - I adore you with all my soul. Please present to me the obstacles so I may overcome them to reside in my authentic self, fearless, open, grateful and abundant. May I sit steadfast on my cushion. May I sing with all of me. May I dance and pray with abandon. May I be an example of open hearted passion and safe free expression. May I know compassion for all my brothers and sisters and all the creatures of the world. May all be released from this suffering. May we know peace.

Amen.

Farm love

Recently moved to the Farm! Living under a beautiful Cedar Tree! some tales of the tale...

Eating a gooey chocolate chip and sweet potato cookie in between typing. Marveling at what a full weekend I have had! What I did today: Tomato and squash planting in the dawn of the sun, Preparing food for 15 people who are participating in a Permaculture design course (Indian mung bean dish, baked french fries, fresh farm green salad, and fruit salad). In trade for cooking food I was able to sit in on their classes today and learned how to measure distances without a measuring tape and got to sit in on a slide show on thermal dynamics, no waste farming while creating biodiversity for niche climates and organisms. Qi-gong in the woods, Conversations with farmies. What I did yesterday: Collecting slugs and worms to feed baby ducks who explored life outside their cage for the first time, weeding, cleaning up and re-organizing small nursery, meditation, sleeping, trip into town for sister circle with my new Isreali friend; Hadas.

All of this while integrating the change in relationship to a loved one. Reestablishing love with myself, relaxing into Gods perfect by perfect moments each moment. Letting Go into Surrendered prayer. Crying. Letting go of expectations. Noticing the pollen drifting in the sky like silken sail boats in the wind. Resting.

Where am I now? Opening into my heart, sensitizing to subtle fragile vibrations of love and light, loving myself loving myself ever practicing loving myself, listening whole heartedly to myself creates the space to listen and be present whole heartedly for everything else. Observing rather than doing. Letting go again. Still holding onto something deep within my gut, lower dan-tien-related to survival and shocked anticipation at life. Relaxing into that feeling and releasing stagnation. Learning to stand with balance and flow - hips tilted forward, back and shoulders relaxed, feeling K move up and down spine. Admiring people's eyes. Everyone has such beautiful eyes! Learning to appreciate everyone, especially those who I want to not let in, allowing myself to question that side of myself.

My intention for this month, as new moon creates renewal and change. My intention: Pray and meditate every day. Establish a place on the farm to pray and meditate every day. Observe and let go of expectations, listen into where Divine Mystery is guiding me, integrate all this change, write about love, experience love, fall in love each moment, allow love to open me up and expand me - rest and solitary time. Art.

Thank you for reading! peace to you!

The Light Beings will Return

Please check out this fabulous video with Little Grandmother and very clear message on what 2010 is about and the culmination of the Last Prophecy. Thank You!
http://vimeo.com/9928120

The Practice of Surrendering to the Source

By

Rev. Anakha Coman



The crisis, as well as the opportunity, of our time is to surrender our ego and
conditioned fear mechanisms to the primary torsion energy of unconditional love
that is seeking to evolve us and is calling us as a species home.
— Sol Luckman





“The key to all you could become lies in your willingness to let go, and to allow
the metamorphosis, in which you are deeply enmeshed, to proceed.”
— Rasha





Surrendering completely to love, be it human or divine, means giving up everything,
including our own well-being or our ability to make decisions. It means loving in the deepest sense of the word. The truth is that we don't want to be saved in the way God has chosen;
we want to keep absolute control over our every step, to be fully conscious of our decisions,
to be capable of choosing the object of our devotion.
— Paulo Coelho





Every birth is a holy act of surrender.
— Anakha Coman



The Surrendered Life × The Mystic’s Edge × The Emergent Zone × Powerlessness as an Expression of Power × Devotion and Deep Integrity × Rewiring for Oneness × Embracing the Sacred Death × Dying into New Life × Dynamic Surrender × Celebrate the Essential Through Surrender × The Great Unknowing × From the Domain of the Ego to the Devotion of the Soul



What is Surrender?

Stillpoint: Surrender is state of being, an inclination of the heart towards God. It asks for your devotion, giving yourself fully to each moment as it unfolds before you. To live a surrendered life is to give your heart to Love in rapture, in ecstasy, in grief, in anger, in sadness, in dismay, in joy, in elation — to donate yourself and your life to serving the fires of Love.

Surrender is an embodied, “lived” state, not a mental concept; a way of being and a condition of the heart. Surrender softens your face, your gaze, your heart and your body making you pliable to bend with the flowing changes of life while remaining deeply rooted. Your mind’s grip of fearful frenzied thinking and strategizing releases so that it can serve the emergence of your Soul. It is at the threshold of surrender where you meet the immensity, intensity and intimacy of Life. This is where playing at life – masquerading and manipulating – cease and the organic, soul-sourced impulse begins to move in you, as you, animating the life within you. Surrender invites the movement of inspiration, grace and humility. It creates the uncreated. The desire of you – the true essence of you, the embodied “I AM” – is born in these precious moments of surrender.

Surrender brings us face to face with what is real, genuine, whole and harmonious within us that seeks expression in each moment. Surrender takes us to the threshold of unknowing and avails us to the magnitude and miracle of each moment where we meet the great expanse of the Divine Mystery sprawled out before us. It takes the cork off bottled up life force, ideas, longings, desires, dreams, aspirations, and emotions; opening us to the unbridled freedom and spontaneity of the life. Surrender activates the Divine emergence; our Soul’s entelechy and unique curriculum presenting as our inner and outer life conditions. It delivers us to our knees in powerlessness where we become divinely empowered, employed and expressed.

What is it we are surrendering to? We are surrendering to being lived, to being created, to being loved, to being moved, transformed, lifted and resurrected into greater and greater states and stations of wholeness and love. {Corinthians 3:18 And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.} We are surrendering to Life itself – to the fully embodied and glorious experience of Life. There is rapture in surrender; a meeting of and merging with our unconditioned self, our native nature, and our naked essence. When the neat, tidy categories – our addiction to logic, reason, perfection and control – fall away, dissolve and retreat into nothingness we meet our original Self. Unencumbered by idealism and projections of what should be, surrender delivers us to the altar of what is now and what is emerging from depths of presence, our divine humanity.



Cease practice based
On intellectual understanding,
Pursuing words and
Following after speech.
Learn the backward
Step that turns
Your light inward
To illuminate within.
Body and mind of themselves
Will drop away
And your original face will be manifest.
— Dogen

It is in the depths of surrender that we meet life, that we experience life and that we powerfully engage with the opportunities to receive and give, to love and be loved, to create and be created. There is a pliability and receptivity born from a Soul in surrender that creates the inner conditions, rich with nutrients, for the Divine idea to germinate, spring forth and blossom in growth. Surrender is the Soul crying out to her Beloved, “play me, play me, take me, take me. I am an instrument in your hands.” And through this breathtaking devotion we become fashioned into the instruments of love that we are. The Divine begins strumming our heart strings, pouring love’s elixir into our parched and thirsting mouths, quenching the arid territory of a Soul separated from the essential Source. Surrender is “I thirst,” a deep desire for the Divine, for Life, for Union — the Soul in surrender, is the Soul in longing, “I thirst for God, I yearn for union, I desire love, I long to open in love, and to serve love.” It is the soul’s exhaustion from living “separate” from God and striving in the limited mind that compels and evokes the depths of our surrender. Surrender expands our heart into the Divine heart through our release and our devotion.

Breathless and intoxicated we give ourselves to Life with tremoring faith in our hearts. We admit our powerlessness and surrender to a power greater, an idea ever more amazing and uplifting. This is true empowerment – surrendering to the Divine Source of Life, to the Divine Idea and to the way unfolding in front of us. Surrender knows that a possibility exists that on our own accord we cannot perceive or conceive. Surrender delivers us to the Divine doorway where we experience an intimate communion. This is where emergence begins.

Surrender is not a point we reach once or twice in our lifetimes. It is a constant, a way of being and living. It is a way of relating and attending to that which is arising, arriving and emerging. It is a giving of oneself to life, to the moment, to the alchemical and unpredictable process of our own becoming. Surrender is a way of relating to self, God, others and life. It asks for our “sacrifice” of struggle – struggling for, struggling against, struggling with – and to embrace an artful allowing and a communion with creation as it flows to and through us and into the world of our relationships, our finance, our health and our creative endeavors.

In the presence of surrender our receptivity to life and inspiration and love increases a thousand fold. We upgrade from drinking from a leaky faucet to being showered in a fountain surging with blessings. Surrender is being in union with the blessing of life – a fully embodied communion with love, well being, sustenance, guidance, inspiration and divine nourishment. It is a state of grace-FULL-ness and of heart-FULL-ness. We receive this blessed experience so that we might give of our selves. It is through surrender that giving of what is deepest and truest within us can flow into expression. When we exhaust all other routes, surrender is what delivers us home to the state of blessedness, it is the direct route home to God.


The Surrendered Life

“Serving the emerging whole means paying attention to what's right here within my awareness, what's completely local, and surrendering to what's being asked of me now.”
— Betty Sue Flowers

We cannot know what is seeking to emerge if we are holding to what has been with a tight, clenched fist. Surrender asks that we release the grip, open the hand and let loose of all the ideas and good intentions we have attempted to overlay onto our lives, oftentimes moving in opposition to our soul’s emergence. Surrender brings all of the conditions of our lives into immediate alignment and places us in service to the Divine idea that is seeking to emerge.

The surrendered life is a life lived in constant communion and devotion to the Divine movement and will, surrendering our lesser intentions, distractions and machinations to the larger and greater work of our Soul. It is a life of surrendered prayer which requires our devotion, our diligence, our presence and our mindfulness. This is not permission to cast an absentee vote into the winds and tides to be tossed about haphazardly. This is an intentional, devoted and deeply spiritual act of understanding our deep purpose to serve the growing oneness and to be advocates of presence, awareness and unconditional love. It begins with a surrendered heart, a surrendered will, a surrendered intellect, asking that the Divine Idea become the most powerful force for movement, creation, interaction and interplay in our lives. It is a letting go of our need to know, our need to fix, organize, perfect and control. Surrender is the sacred art of allowing and remembering to deeply trust the presence of God at the center of our being and our lives.

Many of us resist the idea of surrender. We think that it requires giving up some experience of good and well being, when in actuality the Divine Ideas holds infinitely more blessing and richness and goodness than anything the limited ego mind can imagine or create. When we set our intention to the course (frequency) of love, of oneness, of joy, we surrender into the emergence, the blueprint that will deliver us to that experience as it unfolds moment to moment. There is sufficiency in surrender; it is the most expedient route to our own hearts, our own congruence and connection with God, life and others. It is through surrender that the sacred reconnection is made. When we can no longer see a way, a way will be made for us through surrender; it will be revealed to us and will emerge from deep within us. St. Teresa of Avila described surrender when she said, “The soul must forget about {understanding}, and abandon itself into the arms of love, and His Majesty will teach it what to do next.”

{Insert story: the mystic’s response when faced with a transformation, a whole-hearted yes.}

The surrendered life is a life devoted to serving love’s awakening on the planet through our personal awakening and service. It asks for all and it blesses all. All aspects of our lives are placed in the arms of surrender; everything is donated to serve the fire of love and life. When we let go and let be with conscious awareness and intention, we draw to us all resources mystical and physical, seen and unseen to nurture the emergence coming into being. What are we surrendering to? Ultimately and most simply we are surrendering to Love, to love’s creative, imaginative, transformative, provocative force.

Hold nothing back.
Open your chest and pour out all that lives there
Into the sacred fire of love
Live again in the Divine Truth
The Spirit of enthusiasm that surrender calls forth
Breath in, breath out…
Allow the holy breath to
Stir you into your next becoming!
Ah, sweet surrender
You are indeed the doorway
To the Kingdom of riches.
You hold the key
Cracking the code of the
Great emergence on the planet.



Are you willing to not know? Are you willing to loosen the grip of control and maneuvering to allow for a more easeful, graceful and powerful path to emerge? Can you surrender your faith in your self-will and self-control to receive liberation in knowing and living the Divine course for your life? Are you willing to lay down your idea and open to the Divine Idea of what a life worth living will look, feel, sound, smell and taste like?

The surrendered life is a life lived in a consciousness of communion, of willingness and of curiosity. I am reminded of the powerful alchemy created within the 12-Step Recovery movement. There is a deep and powerful surrender available through these steps (revised for the Law of Emergence):

1. As I stand at the edge of my own emergence and peer into the great unknown, I stand open and vulnerable to the life that desires to live in and as me. I know that I cannot manage, control, manipulate or contain this Life, nor do I want to pretend that I can for one second longer. I am humbled and in awe of the great unknown and the magnitude of that which is seeking to emerge within me and within my life – wholeness, oneness, goodness, wellness and happiness. “I release, I let go.”

2. In this moment of sacred silence, I know that something beautiful is seeking to emerge within me and within all expressions of life – my finances, my relationships, my creativity, my health and my consciousness. I know that the Divine has a plan and a purpose that is in operation at the center of my being and this plan is actively bringing me into relationship with my wholeness and brilliance, my essential oneness with all.
“In the stillness, I remember I AM.”

3. I remember that my true power is activated within my surrender to this great emergence, to the Divine’s Idea for me, my life and its many expressions. I surrender my lesser ideas and self-will, to the highest good and Divine Will. I surrender to the God Idea, to the good that is seeking to emerge. I rest in the knowing that all is well, in all matters of my life, all is well. “I will my will Thy will.”

Surrendering to Source is an act of high accountability and is an expression of core strength. Surrendering is dynamic and active and requires a reverential alertness to the movements of the Spirit. Unknowing brings us into contact with the brilliance, competence and genius of the Universe. Surrender avails us to, puts us into proximity with the emergent brilliance of the universe. We do not need to figure it out, nor can we. We do not need to fix or heal, nor can we. A powerful act in this time is to admit our powerlessness over what has been created and surrender to a new consciousness that remembers the Divine Idea that created the cosmos both heaven and earth, that same intelligence and life force and power and innate creativity lives within us, surrounds us and can move within us given our willingness to allow it. Be willing to be swept away.

In the surrender of the heart, the soul can speak without the stifling controls of the ego. The heart becomes free to utter the prayers that vibrate and resonate with all of creation. We can cultivate the surrendered heart moment to moment as we choose vulnerability, openness, exposure and transparency over control, masking, posturing and competition.


Surrendering to the Essential

How easily we get trapped in that which is not essential — in looking good, winning at competition, gathering power and wealth — when simply being alive is a gift beyond measure.” — Parker J Palmer

Stillpoint: Let us surrender to the essential, let us offer up our hopes and our burdens to the essential, let us let go into the essential. Let us burn in the holy fires of the essential. Let us be born again, anew in the essential.

Surrendering to the essential. This is the movement of the emergence, to surrender to the essence of the moment and the essential unfolding. What is essential? This question, when taken deeply within our core and answered, guides us, inspires us: leading us into the sacred emergence occurring at the center of our lives. We surrender the essential within us to the essential within life in sacred union, a fusion that moves us into the flow of creation. I surrender what is essential within me to what is essential in all life. I surrender to the essential movement that is occurring within my life and within the Divine Life.

It is time for us to evolve to a consciousness where we invest our energies in serving the creation of what is essential in our lives and on the planet. At times we may not know what is essential and our surrender to it is enough to bring us into this divine flow and to activate the emergence. This is what it means to serve the essential, to live a surrendered life. Every moment, every relationship, every idea, every fear, every addiction, every compulsion, every conversation, every decision is surrendered to the Source and that Source is unconditional love. We invite the Divine Presence in to take charge of our thinking, our breathing, our living, our loving, working, serving. We surrender to the truth that this is already happening and our striving against it is the most unnatural thing. Surrender is natural to the heart of love. Everything exists to serve the emergence and surrender is the key to unlocking the hidden power in all experiences, relationships, emotions, challenges, inspirations. To surrender is to align with the Source of Life, dynamically opening to ourselves and to the world in service to love.

God be in my head and in my understanding
God be in my eyes and in my looking
God be in my mouth and in my speaking
God be in my tongue and in my tasting
God be in my lips and in my greeting

God be in my nose and in my smelling/inhaling
God be in my ears and in my hearing
God be in my neck and in my humbling
God be in my shoulders and in my bearing
God be in my back and in my standing

God be in my arms and in my reaching/receiving
God be in my hands and in my working
God be in my legs and in my walking
God be in my feet and in my grounding
God be in my joints and in my relating

God be in my guts and in my feeling
God be in my bowels and in my forgiving
God be in my loins and in my swiving
God be in my lungs and in my breathing
God be in my heart and in my loving

God be in my skin and in my touching
God be in my flesh and in my paining/pining
God be in my blood and in my living
God be in my bones and in my dying
God be at my end and at my reviving

Extended from the traditional prayer of Reverend Jim Cotter
and printed in his book Prayer at Night. Cairns Publications,
Sheffield, England. 1988.

Naked Heart, Inc.
Anakha Coman, MA ABS, M.Div.
http://www.naked-heart.com
anakha@naked-heart.com
Twitter: @anakhacoman
Phone: 503.334.6262

Entrevista da Madrinha Francisca TV Aldeia

The Natural State

I wanted to write a bit about what is occurring in my life recently.

Can you say more incredible healing?

Can you say peace, light, gratitude and forgiveness?

Yes, all these things are totally here all the time, shifting how i think, move and act. In my heart there is this new profound sense of Peace. This Peace represents a Trust that I have finally come full circle. Last year around this time I was playing a lot with Trust. I was moving into a deeper relationship with trusting God and trusting myself and the challenges in my life. Knowing that all is put in to place to help me grow and provide deeper reflection into what and where my heart wants to go, what direction I am being asked to move into. I had many experiences of very specific guidance to Trust and and Let Go. These were very scary proposals for me though, for I was experiencing a lot of pain and sadness at my life situation. To Trust and Let Go meant to simply be okay with what was occurring. I had to Trust even the hardest circumstances and not try to jump to any conclusions about them. Every moment I was being guided very specifically as to how to maneuver into a deeper relationship with my heart's calling. I listened so carefully and did a lot of writing to become clearer on what that was. By writing and conversing with the heart, things become revealed so that understanding can occur. This understanding then creates the circumstance for you to be able to put this understanding into action. You let go of old beliefs and ideas and move into the clarity that your heart has guided you to. Letting Go into the Trust that this is a moment to moment process and is actualized by the presence you give to this state of awareness - being in alignment with your heart.

The difference about my life occurrences now is that this is not just an "either/or" situation. My heart IS now moving everything it feels. There is no decision about it or an unveiling of what that is. My heart is fully opened and moves me to experience life through this pleasure of divine love. Sure there are moments when this sometimes feels more open than not, but the Letting Go has happened, and now I get to be where I let go into - which is this energetic environment of Faith and Love - Our natural state (the same state in which we were born into and which every child is moving and living through).

Fear does come up! And it probably always will! To think that I could live and love in this world full of so much confusion and conditioning and not experience fear is pretty much impossible. I actually invite my fear in all the time, and am learning to experience it as just another level of loving. My fear guides me and shows me where I am holding back and what really wants to be looked at and taken care of. My fear just shows me how to love it all and how to dispel old beliefs about myself, others, and the world. The experience of fear, if not accustomed to be worked with can throw us off guard, can spiral us into a very bleak experience and can shadow our dreams so that we stay very blocked, stagnant and small. When this Love happens in the heart which is Completeness and The Knowing that "I am Okay no matter what." Then fear has no where to live and is dissolved or buffeted. It still stirs the soul, it still makes the heart beat faster, but it is allowed to do all these things in the most comfortable arms of the Beloved - The Heart - This Complete Love - Complete Faith. It requires many many quiet moments, courage to be with it, meditation, and calm environments to be witnessed. It is then through these many experiences of this Greatness that it then begins to envelop All that is not it. It is like a full circle inner tube holding you in an ocean of Unknown. We then realize even this Ocean of Unknown is also this Great Love and we experience even more Faith, Openness, and Love.

The heart knows, let it unfold into what it truly wants. Your desires are profound and beautiful and want you to listen to them and experience them. The mind can assist, but the heart-mind needs to be your guide.

So this has occurred for me on a very deep embodied level, one to where i now feel comfortable writing about it as my own experience. Letting go into Faith and Trust is a very private experience. It is not loud or expressed outwardly, but is a subtle shift internal that moves our lives forward like eyelash wings fluttering us awake.

Our experience of the Divine is also very private and is like a relationship reflecting the perfect relationship with love and partnership. A new person has come into my life and this love is changing everything Again! Just so you know, there is no final resting place in all this, from my experience it just deepens forever into the Flower of the Great Mystery. We are so blessed to be experiencing this life to be held in this devotional process, in this awakening into our Creator's Love, there is nothing else more beautiful! No Science more important!

So to say the least, this new person, who also has these experiences of Divine Love and Openness and Complete Faith - has arrived in my life, right on time. In fact I knew he was coming, but I am still pinching myself every so often just to make sure I am still "Awake"! To Love God now seems easy! To be loved by another in this complete way, to experience my completeness through anther's love is now the new challenge! Now my stuff about unworthiness is really coming up! But to bring this piece of writing full circle I want to share about this new experience about letting Go and Trust.

I had a belief that this Divine Love is only perfect with God, only to be trusted in here with myself and the Spiritual - The safety nets of my own vibrating heart, beneath my rib cage - only I can arrive here alone.

I am experiencing this belief being taken away. The embodied experience of another's love matching the love of God is changing me yet again. In fact it was so deep that I experienced a part of my soul return to me so that I feel more whole than ever. When I was traumatized as a young child a part of me left to be with God in this Wholeness, believing that it was not safe to be in my body and completely whole. After experiencing this level of Trust and Love from another I went through a series of deep shifts and healing where I witnessed this piece finally coming home and returning to me. So two things happened: A new experience of Wholeness with myself. And a new experience of Wholeness with another. The embodied experience of God's love coming from another, where this absolutely Nothing to fear and there is absolutely no holes in my faith in it, dispelled any last fears and beliefs that really I will fall, that this safety net cannot really hold me. I will be abandoned, abused and will again be alone with myself and God picking up the pieces and lovingly putting them back. For ten years I have been doing this, sometimes gracefully, sometimes angrily. But I have always had the courage to work with it. I know a part of me had not returned and I know a part of me was still being whipped around in a constant state of trauma due to what happened to me as a child. This unconscious state of trauma was still popping up and making decisions that were recreating this trauma in my life. I was always experiencing the wholeness and then the trauma and then back to wholeness. Yet this wholeness was still outside of me, never fully embodied.

Today and Yesterday were the first days that I feel this wholeness completely embodied and completely in Trust that his Love Is.

A Message from VERONICA

Many souls when separating from Source to experience the linear environment feel a sense of aloneness that is difficult to overcome. Compounded by dramas, the feeling of isolation can leave one feeling powerless in the seeming vastness of the physical time line.

To have the dense experience the sense of singularity is strong within the psyche of the incarnate. It does not, however, have to be exclusive from the soul's participation. It is possible to have the physical, hand in hand with the comfort of your soul.

The entity from which you come is always present in your energy. It is possible to focus in the linear while being interwoven in the fabric of your soul.

Attempt to reach within yourself to make the connection. Your energy will reach back to you in response to your loneliness. It was always there and it wishes for your awareness of the connection.

You are never alone. It is only the perception of separateness that confuses you.

Reach for your soul. It's already extended to you.

Even now.

Go ahead.

You will not be disappointed.

Reach.

Reach within.

-VERONICA

The 6 Keys to Spiritual Dating

“Spiritual Dating” or “Conscious Dating” is an enlightened way of meeting and dating. There are no rules or expectations, and it’s about being true to oneself and staying in the flow. Conscious dating is more fun than the traditional style of dating, and it yields much better results! As we raise our vibrational frequencies and approach fifth dimensional living, it’s more and more important to practice Spiritual Dating with respect to meeting a life partner as our thoughts and feelings are manifesting extremely fast!

The 6 Keys to Spiritual Dating:

#1 REMEMBERING OUR DIVINITY:
Realize that every person is a DIVINE ASPECT and before incarnating, we agreed to forget our Divinity. We chose to be here on Earth for this incredible time in history, so be joyful and grateful for ‘waking up’ and being part of this planetary ascension. Loving ourselves unconditionally and letting ourselves express this tremendous JOY that is our Divine Essence is the basis of Spiritual Dating. Allow this love of self and joy to radiate outward and attract the same. It’s much healthier and fulfilling when two souls come together in joy and bliss rather than in desperation and loneliness.

#2 BEING PRESENT and OPEN:

When we are truly PRESENT in the moment, we are OPEN to meeting the love of our life because we are paying attention. Enjoy each encounter, whether or not that person is a potential mate. When standing in line at the grocery store, book store, post office… (anywhere!), pass up reading the magazines or thinking about what you are going to make for dinner. Instead, be receptive and conscious of who might be coming into your space. ENJOY the moment you are experiencing NOW! Be bold and say hi to people, initiate conversations and SMILE.



#3 BEING REALISTIC:

Chemistry comes in all shapes and sizes. Realize that our “types” have most likely been created by mass media programming and therefore the collective consciousness. Break free of this illusion, the matrix, if you will, and feel someone’s SOUL, their “beingness”, their heart. Our life partner may not look like the “type” we have been conditioned to see as attractive. They may be taller, shorter, thinner, or thicker, or even the same gender, so let go of the attachment to how someone appears and look deeper. As we thoroughly enjoy and experience every person we encounter, we can appreciate their uniqueness and see their Divinity. Listening to our guidance and knowing that we may be drawn to someone because they are our life partner, or maybe for another reason, perhaps they have some important insight or information for us or vise versa.



#4 BEING REAL:

Being real means letting one’s guard down and getting out of ego; being oneself without trying to empress or show off. When in a relationship, true selves and personalities are eventually revealed and observed by our partner, so it’s more efficient to be genuine from day one. By expressing our true selves, we send out that energy to the quantum field and magnetize a partner that is also being REAL!



#5 LISTENING

When on a date, practice active LISTENING. Instead of planning out what we are going to say next, or worrying about how we look, active listening involves being present and focused on the other person while they are speaking. With an open heart, listen and feel what the other person is saying. Be there for them 100%. When talking, speak from the heart, and allow the conversation to flow naturally. Allow time for silence and just being together. Remember to breathe and relax.



#6 STAYING IN THE FLOW:

Getting out of our head and following our heart, our feelings and the current energy is the essence of staying in the flow. When we are tapped into our Divinity, we know what to do, where to go, who to talk with etc... When in the flow, there is no ‘thinking things through’ for hours, days or weeks….it just happens. It’s part of being present and open. Being open to whatever is in our highest and best for each moment and trusting that we are being perfectly guided by our higher selves (that part of us that always remembers its Divine connection), is the key to staying in the flow. Letting go of expectations and preconceived ideas about what something “should” look like, or how something “should” be is essential.



Spiritually dating creates a fun, enriching experience to be savored and thoroughly enjoyed. When these six keys are put into practice, results happen quickly, and it’s possible to be experiencing a blissful, devoted, loving relationship in no time, so ENJOY the process!

Author Info:

Jill Crosby is the owner/founder of the largest exclusively spiritual/conscious/green network of dating sites on the Internet, The Conscious Dating Network, which included Spiritual Matchmaking, originated in 1998 and launched in 1999. She is a dynamic public speaker, workshop/retreat leader and hypnotherapist. She communicates with dolphins and whales and facilitates Wild Dolphin and Whale Swim Retreats for Singles.

Learning to be availiable for my Soul's Emotions

Wow, these last few weeks have been really hard. After going through what seemed like a very major dark night of the soul and being in bed with bronchitis, I am still just barely keeping my head above the water of my emotions.

This GREAT sadness seems to want to envelop me and all I can do is sit and face it. While at times I am more caught in my head or with the task at hand, I am usually either criticizing myself or feeling waves of emotional turmoil. My mind seems out of control and my actions follow suit and I would be in a downward spiral if it were not my warrior like nature to just sit and be with the moment and all its sufferings head on.

Part of me feels like this is natural, this is supposed to be occuring, it is rocking my ship and making my soul's calling availiable to me. And I am used to being in such high states, being available for others problems and lately all I have wanted to do was curl up with a good novel and tune out.

My heart feels heavy. A new possible lover came over last night and submerged me in a beautiful sea of sexual intimacy. And this morning I awoke crying and aching for my heart is not availiable for that type of contact right now. And it feels very difficult to face that and speak its truth. I don't feel availiable for anyone but myself. And this too is hard to admit, like I am letting others down and even myself, my ego. Meanwhile my soul is rocking me, soothing me and showing me all the intense shadow I carry with me throughout my day. It is like a blanket of heavy wool, covering my shoulders and keeping me pressed flat to this pain. A ball and chain of sickness and depression. It feels unbearable and times, like my heart will explode under the pressure. My intuition just tells me to keep looking at it, loving it, listening to it and being there for it and it is so tricky to, because the same pain is letting me get away with things and thoughts and actions that are hurting my body and mind.

And then I get down on myself for all this because I can't snap out of it. Is this normal? Does everyone feel this way? I feel like blaming it on the fact that I live in a city and it is winter and dark out all the time and it sucks. I feel like blaming it on my lack of discipline and negative thought patterns. Like, I should be doing this... Or why is she so much better at that than I?... Or if only I could keep this practice up every day, then I will be happy, healthy, have what i want.... etc. What old patterns!

What to do when these thoughts arise? What to do when I am suffocating myself because I am already suffocating? I feel trapped and weighted down and sad.

It is embarrassing for me to speak to all this because I feel that my ego is angry at being found out.

And adyashanti says, these are all just stories. See through my idea of it. I am experiencing my idea about something, when I see through that, it is gone. What is left is the next most obvious thing. Question the thought until it disappears. Then I am freed up to be moved by the simplicity of truth. Like everything else there isn't a reason.

Longing

Here I am.

Feet on the ground I meet my own longing. I met her in her complete form the other night as the deepest emotional state I have ever witnessed besides love. I asked this longing: "Who are you?" "Where did you come from?" And she answered with an image of my self as a child reaching her hands up in a deep need. Her need was not met and so it created this self; this longing; this unmet need as a deep wound inside my emotional body.

My longing is all of our longing. It is the longing to be with each other, to be held in love and acceptance and true seeing. It is our longing to be out of the city and within the comforts of our mother we once knew as the trees and rivers that surrounded us and met us on a daily basis. It is my longing to be in union with God and in union with love. It is my longing to be deeply fed and nourished. It is my longing to be heard, felt, understood, witnessed, touched, looked at, admired, and in purpose.

My longing is also the deep piercing longing to be in service. To know my gifts and talents and use them to help heal the world. My longing is to know Who I Am and Why I am Here. My longing is here now, it may not always stay, and so I welcome her and accept her as part of my Now.

She is sharp and open, she is round and smooth, she is the self in me which acts unconsciously in relationships, in food choices, in all choices that act from not having enough, not giving myself enough, not connecting deeply in and with myself. She is there at all times that I am not intentionally connected to God. It is my connection to God which keeps this longing satiated. It is my connection with my womb and my heart which keeps this longing unable to fully control me. For she is like a beast who wants to devour me and devour all things to satiate this pain of appetite.

So how do I truly stay connected to myself and to God?

How do I observe her when she wants to act out and breech my contract with my heart?

She reaches out to suck the energy out of someone else. This deep need cannot be met by anyone else. She is there, I know her very intimately. She is suggesting I play games with Men, suggesting I refuse my meditation practice to eat fried food and sugar. She is there suggesting I internally beat myself up and judge every detail of my life as imperfect. She is the ego in her garb of fierce emotional turmoil.

The sun is shinning outside today. I didn't get a full night's sleep last night. I am not perfect, but each and every day is perfect and provides me with another beautiful opportunity to open into my joy and acceptance. Inviting me into meeting that longing with good music, movement, conversation, gift giving, exercise, supporting a friend, or asking to be supported.

I ask sincerely: "Will this longing ever be fully met and satiated forever?" "Will she always be there behind the surface?" "What is the gift of this longing?"

She is a part of me and to shun her would be shunning my child. I must ask her on a daily basis: "What do you need?" "What do you know?" "How can I meet you?"

And Listen Deeply. And act to the best of my ability to meet her there, for anything else will just widen her deeper and contribute to the belief that I can't meet my needs, that she is not being met, that she is not worth listening to or holding.

She is asking me to meet her on a daily basis, on a moment to moment basis. A deep listening and presence to her. She as a child who is sick and who needs constant attention. My longing is a sick child who is me and all children in need. She is the Mother Earth longing to be with her children and for them to know her. She is the children in Haiti who are suffering. She is the subtle depression which suffocates all those living in illusion. She is a presence which will not be satiated easily, she wants good food, she wants creativity and movement every day, she wants deep contact with the earth. She is in love with God and knows that when I am with God she is with God and there is nothing to long for.

She is the longing to return home and be loved. She is all of us.

I meet her now: And I meet all longing:

Oh beautiful child. You Are the World! You are the sun rays that dip into the plants and radiate love to all of creation! Your smile is the emotional glue which keeps this crazy world together! You are everything and nothing, you have the power to create and be intimately known! You are beautiful and radiant and True! You Can! You Can! You Can! Your heart is the heater for all of humanity and carries our true purpose! Your eyes can shine into infinity and carry you to every corner of the universe! You are not alone, but surrounded by infinite beings of love and light! You Are Here For A Purpose! You may not know it just yet, you may not ever truly understand Why, but there is an answer. You are the answer. Your movement, your blood, your intricate DNA carries the secret to the unfolding human heart and every action you make and thought you have is, I assure you, not a mistake. Every action you make ripples out into the fabric of time, by your very makeup you are a part of this great mystery and weaving your piece just as we all are. There is no mistake, just a deeper unfolding, a knowing, and a being. You are light! You are Love! Your devotion is the Stuff of God's very own prayer. Your longing is met in this knowing. Trust your knowing. Trust your heart. Trust Trust Trust.

On Being Lost

Isn't it funny how one experience can sometimes be the perfect reflection and medium to understand a state of mind?

It was nighttime and raining pretty hard as I was coming home from Santa Rosa, CA to my father's house in Sebastapol. I was rushing to get home to catch a ride to dance class from the house. I knew that I was just going to make it on time. But as I got closer the directions I had did not fit the signs I was following. Soon I was curving around unknown passages, tires skidding on the wet asphalt and heavy downpour shaking the branches above me. I started getting very mad. I was speeding, I was feeling the rage and sadness of something, deeper than just being lost on my way home. Something in me wouldn't slow down and take things calmly. I ended up at a church and asked for directions. I followed them and got lost again. I ended up down a dirt road, at a dead end. I tortured the car as I backed up slammed on the breaks and turned around. I then ended up on someone's private road and again angrily and forcefully turned the car around. I became a mad woman screaming in the car asking for a death wish on a road unknown in the middle of nowhere.

Then all of a sudden I saw the correct sign for the street I was looking for. There it was. I zoomed down it and found the house and parked. My ride had already left. I stormed into the house and sat down ready to cry.

Instead of crying or fixing the situation by getting to the dance on my own, I pigged out in front of a movie and figured it wasn't worth it to feel my emotions or create a better alternative for my night.

So today I was finally able to reflect on that night and I started playing with this description of being lost.

It is a very good analogy for the way I used to be in my life. I was lost, but searching madly for home. I was making choices in my life which reflected this intense sadness and insecurity. Being lost in my own life was like forgetting my way home. I knew home existed but I didn't know exactly how to get there. I was searching and in the confusion, made a lot of mistakes and wrong turns. Every time I made a wrong turn, I would stop, turn around and head back to where I came from so that eventually I would be back on track.

Nobody stays lost forever.

With so many of us lost out there we are confused and angry. We are angry because we do not have a place in our hearts to call home, but we are tirelessly searching and it occurred to me that Nobody Stays Lost Forever. We are all searching for Home (a place of Sanctuary, Welcome, Warmth, Family). Even in someone's outward actions, be they of deceit, manipulation, rage, or hate - these actions and beliefs are not one's home and will never be allowed entry once that being finds the True Home: that of Wholeness and Love. So it is my belief that we are all on this search back home, and even if we never felt it during childhood, (which many of us haven't who grew up in homes of fear) it is truly a feeling that resides in all of us and is calling to us all the time.

Nobody stays lost forever, we will all eventually stop our wrong turns and make the right turn home to our hearts: our spiritual truths. Being lost is a state of mind: an identification with the self and the life which does not resonate with a larger spiritual reality. After so many wrong turns, there is eventually a right turn which begins to lead one down a road to many right turns and eventually home to our true mother and father: Faith and Reason.

To all those who are still lost: (and we can see this state of mind by the choices you make to pollute the Earth, manipulate human beings and animals, live your life only for money and power, choose to uphold lies that lie in sexism, racism, acts of hate and any choice which does not reflect sincere service to the Earth and Humanity.) Eventually you will find your way home because you will know the feeling. It will well up inside you like an upside down balloon and envelope your whole heart. Home will guide you out of the darkest dark into its calming waves of Truth. Nobody stays lost forever - this is madness and in disharmony with human nature. It may take many people many lifetimes to find home, but it is there, waiting to welcome you inside.

On Crafting Our Brilliance

We are each forces of Brilliant Nature. We are crafted and designed to share our unique talents with all of creation. Recently I have been playing with this idea in my every day action. How am I crafting my own brilliance? I see it as a twisting, turning, spiral of passion, intelligence, creativity, humor, and good choice. If I put my time and attention in myself as if I were a piece of art, continually being sculpted and resculpted, it is up to me what shape I choose to take. I feel this force in me, and by not identifying with it, as in "I am brilliant." But feeling the divine brilliance through me, I can begin to understand and interpret my choices in this world. Brilliance means intelligent design and a flow of uninterrupted creative outpour and expression. This could be in how I make my tea, or the slow graceful pace I make a meal. Brilliance could be the choice to not over-indulge and instead take a walk in the cool night air. This force wants to grow and develop into a fine piece of work, one which will counter and confront any obstacle in its way. This force will guide me and attract other brilliant light to it. This force is my Divine Will and my destiny. By counteracting it I am giving in to an old belief that I am not worth anything or just mediocre. We must break free from our mediocre identities and recognize that every action echoes itself into all of creation. Every choice I make which comes from my true identity and my true self will create ripples of choices for the whole planet. My shadow self if becoming more and more familiar and how I choose to interact with my shadow self is also a sign of my own brilliance. I feel her sometimes like a spirit friend, and recently have been putting a comforting hand out to her and reconcile our differences. My shadow self are only the unconscious parts of me which still identify with fear, panic, and control. Carl Jung said that the best thing you can do for someone is show her her shadow, for then she will recognize that she is made of light which casts this shadow.

Today was a very simple day and I got to just reflect, take care of some business and make some phone calls. There is always this force in my which is constantly questioning the force of nature and observing it. I am so greatful that a friend recently guided me to trust the force of divine flow and clarity that is welling up in my at all times. My meditation practice has been to simply observe this and let it guide me into myself and into insight. I have searched for so long for the right spiritual practice, what do I do and how do i do it, and I am so tired of obligation. It is suffocating me. My practice is to love God, turn to God in every detail, and craft Her force in and through me. Only then will I get to know a glimmer of my own brilliance and know the purpose of my existence.

a note on reality and being awake - a manifesto if you will.

This life is not easy.

The more i try to make it easy, the more i fall back asleep and find myself in a comfortable stupor doing things that aren't good for me. When I face the challenge and FEEL what it is in me that wants the easiness, I really recognize that all it is is a fear of the unknown and a fear that it will be new, boring, scary, empty, nothingness. My father has been telling me for quite some time that the big ups and downs will eventually even out to a more medial flow as we learn to stay awake, in our full consciousness of who we are. This is tough, being home for Christmas, there is a lot of time on my hands and I have already finished three books. I saw some friends from High School and it was kind of difficult for me to be ok with the fact that nothing has really changed between the three of us. My life is very different back home, I am so fortunate to have the job I do, the friends, the lifestyle which offers so much freedom of choice and freedom to be with others who are stepping out of their comfort zones and actualizing their dreams.

How do we actualize our dreams? How do we step out of the norm and break open the sky to witness our true selves, the spark of divine beauty that each one of us contains? Our world continues to meet us with low standards, dead ends, false bait for happiness, separation, denial of the self. My little soul is like a hot zygote inside me... flared up with rage and passion - ready to break free from this existence which aims to control and suppress me. I am a divine human being. I am unafraid to face that which is without integrity and heart. I am free.

Though why do I still make choices which are keeping me locked in? This life is not easy, because it's not like I can just say, OK WORLD! I am free! I break out NOW! Here I am ready to be and do everything I am meant to be and do. It is a process and I cannot really control how fast I grow as a soul. I can take my lessons to heart and learn to integrate them and learn to heal my self as much as I know how and accept the pain of each lesson. This is beautiful: That I actually feel pain, that I am capable of emotion and this is the very thing which makes this life so amazing and blessed.

I am reading so many different books these days...History of Santo Daime religion, info on Indigo children, the path of Sacred Activism, Anastasia, and a lot more. I have many interests and yet there also seems to be this lag in the space time continuum. Like, ok world! I know what I want. Yet certain things and ideas are not caught up in the main stream. My beliefs are not yet held in this time space reality and so I cannot just go out and apply for that position in life which holds my highest potential, it doesn't work that way. And besides, maybe that is a good thing. The question is, how to completely restructure my reality and restructure the external systematic reality at the same time. It's not an immediate reflection. It's like there are certain bubbles which I pop in and out of, some bubbles hold the structure of reality which I hold in myself and some structures just don't, like I have to backtrack and remember who I used to be last year to hold up the structure of the current bubble I find myself in. Does this make any sense?

And yet there are always things I am working on and I am always trying to live my values and be the Self I know I Truly Am. Like, hey World! I am showing up in my higher self, where is the world which acknowledges Freedom, Love, Unity, Expression, Passion, Creativity, Nature, and God? Because this is the reality inside myself! This is who I Am. This is the reality I showed up in as a new born babe, a perfect self, shining all of God's beauty on everything I touched. This is the self which was lost and then found again. This is the self which lashes out in anger and pain when I face a world which is imperfect and selfish and hateful. These things inside myself too. To face that, to face that reality. To recognize and feel the sensitivity of others suffering, of others ignorance at this false separation. The Truth IS: We are not separate. We are a beautiful spark of divine light. We Are Our Collected Dreams. We our how we view ourselves and our reality. The only way things will change is if we change how we view ourselves.

When we can start seeing ourselves as this Truth: Beautiful Infinite Human Souls of Grace and Art - Alive NOW to paint the gray walls of our world with Wounder, Truth, Love, Peace and Freedom. Until we are truly ready to give away our false selves, our false notions of ourselves as guilty trapped good-for-nothings. Nothing will change. It starts first with our inner beliefs, our willingness to get out of our comfort zones. And what is comfortable about our comfort zones anyway? There is nothing comfortable about staying trapped in a limiting view of myself. It hurts and it sucks and it is so bleak and dismal and really the exact equation which keeps our world on this path of destruction. If we stay trapped in our limited beliefs, then the world will stay trapped in its limited expression.

Please. Please. Please. Heart: listen deeply to the song of my soul. Listen sooo very carefully that when the choice which offers me a chance to break a habit of denial and pain arrives, let me walk it head held high. Please. Please. please Soul: when that opportunity arises to grow in unlimited grace and growth, let me open my wings wide to fly on your winds of new expression and discovery. Please. Please. please Spirit: let me soar in this life, let me be an inspiration for all to create a momentous open hearted life. An inspiration to spark all of Spirit to manifest this grand change we so desperately need in order to fulfill the Divine Plan. I Am Here. I Am Ready. I Am Now.

A Gift of Love

I Wanted to share this gift from my teacher Anakha Coman. She writes:

I was blessed with the following consolations from the Divine today. I
offer them as my gift to you, may you remember your own wholeness and
Oneness…may your heart be on fire with Divine Love.

* A moment with me fills you with more love than all the lovers of
your lifetime. Where am I? Closer than the breath moving through
your nostrils. Who am I? The Lover behind all loving, the Lover
beyond all lovers. Why am I? Because of you, I AM.

* There are a thousand faces of love held in the Infinite Heart.
You are One with them. You are One of them.

* The heart holds a mystery, an alchemy unknown, unlock the heart
and unlock the code for a new divine humanity.

* All things are conspiring in Love, to open you to Love. All
conditions are conspiring to create the perfect alchemy to birth you
into the next expression of Love. The fires of passion, adoration,
devotion, desire, ecstasy and bliss and the thorns of agony, despair,
heartbreak and grief. This is the alchemical elixir of Love, drink
deeply from the Source of your own Essence.

* This is the journey home. A gathering up of all things into
Love. Love holds all…there is no opposite.

* You are here to enact, embody and express Divine Love in the real.

* Sing Love into the cells of your being body, into the heart of
your heart and into your brothers and sisters.

* Fear is the veiled face of Love, reach beyond the veil into the
true essence.

prayer for mary magdalene

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N530qNGxgPs

The Principles of our Sacred Nature

•The Freedom to Choose from LOVE and to be embraced in Love.
•The Ability to FORGIVE and RELEASE and to live in the PRESENT MOMENT fully and completely.
•The power to CREATE our REALITY in ongoing form and to change what we do not desire through making new choices.
•The ability to express SOUL and SPIRIT in the physical as an expression of GRATITUDE through Art, Movement, Sound, Words......all forms of ART and CREATIVITY.

How do you keep your torch lit?

Checking in and sensing a lot going on inside. I have a tendency to look without to relieve all this tension, emotion, movement inside, internal. So I am writing to check in with it. I had a great intuitive body reading on Friday and want to share a little about what I learned. First of all, I am just now recognizing the reflection that people hold in my life with what is occurring for me internally. If a friend is approaching me asking guidance on emotional eating, it is time I look at this subject with myself. Friend's are great mirrors and I am noticing the parallels more and more as I am either annoyed or attracted to their drama- How can I let it all just be a reflection pointing me to be of service first to myself and awakening my own shadow, and then see if this service toward myself can shine as an example for those around me. This was a little what the reading said. Also - things concerning the heart, it is winter now and time to go inside. This may be hard for a lot of people without loved ones or a beloved around. But now that the Sun is farthest away from Earth, it is our time to bring the sun out inside of ourselves, when the hearth is inside the temple and we warn ourselves with our divine beauty, nurturing health, and prayer. It is easy to go back to old patterns, almost too easy and this is a big symbol for me to stop myself before I do and stay awake, stay present, stay conscious of how I falsely comfort myself and ignore the true yearning: to be with God, to be loved, to be warn and held. This thing I CAN give to myself. These things are all around me, I just need to feel my beauty, my love, and my sweet body and know that I am a divine reflection of God deserving the best and sweetest treatment for myself. Becoming sensitive to the old vibrations and how harmful they are, helps me remember and wise up to the vibrations of love, light, and health. Please be truthful with yourself, please be responsible and clear with your boundaries in your life and totally give 100% the best you can to yourself. I am saying this all because I am learning it too.

Another thing I am learning in tune with this season is the time to be Fallow - or frozen without growth. It is not time to plant seeds, it is time to wait, hold, soften, watch, and embrace the fire within. It is just like me to try to plant the seeds of all my dreams before planting season. They will just freeze and die. It is a good time to let your spiritual self be peaceful and watchful and not fixed on the fire of transformation. Even the winter ground is transforming, it is just a lot more subtle and internal. Meditation, baths, teas, good food. These are all spiritual actions as well as the larger metaphysical, outward, transcendental experiences. In fact, it is ALL spiritual! I must get out of this mindset that some things, some people, some events are spiritual and others are not. It is all a learning for Spirit, it is all opportunity to connect with the Divine. And we are learning to become in balance with the rhythm of every moment, how that connection is manifested and received. It is our responsibility as spiritual lights to keep this torch aglow through every moment and every season. It is OK to forget the torch every once and awhile for this is the time that we are learning how to do this, but keep picking it back up again and light others with yours. Listen to how you want to move in your moment, how the divine wants to manifest, it will be easier and lighter if you do move in this natural rhythm with the seasons. The more you let go of your ideas the better Ideas are what got us in to this mess in the first place. turn off the electrical light upstairs and open the window to the light of the winter moon out your window.

It feels good to write all of this, even if no one reads it. It is my intention to use writing as one of the tools to keep my torch lit. Writing down my Truth, getting my voice out there helps me stay strong and alive. I don't have to rely on anyone else to keep my torch lit, in fact, this is often the misunderstanding about Teachers, Spiritual Groups, Gurus, -that they will keep your torch lit. They can light it for sure, but it is up to you to keep lighting it with your knowledge and inner understanding as the practice is deepened and the motivation towards awakening increases. How do you keep your torch lit?

Janine Benyus shares nature's designs | Video on TED.com

Janine Benyus shares nature's designs | Video on TED.com

Thoughts on Money

So a friend recently suggested I start writing about money as a way to get out all my undesirable beliefs and patterns surrounding this topic. I have recently been faced with certain circumstances which have pointed me in this direction to fully reveal anything I am holding unconsciously. Money has always been there, not a lot, but is has existed in a form like a cloud above my head, giving me what I need, just as a flower receives water from a rain cloud. It has never been a source of identification or power or lack. It has always fit me comfortably when I needed it. This has been due to my own natural saving habits, my family's upper-middle class upbringing, and my own dis-interest to have any other relationship with it. College was paid for by money inherited when my step-mother died and travels i have taken have either been partially supported by savings or gifts. I am recognizing my privilege in this.

My privilege has kept me blind from my own habits, beliefs, and maturity concerning finance, business, work, security. As I am approaching an age in which I desire more security and independence away from my listless wanderings and discoverings of the world I step down from certain clouds of obscurity and delusion. I have to step up to the cold hard facts. And yet, naming them cold and hard is also a belief pattern and one that is keeping me from earning and living a life with a comfortable flow.

This is exactly what I want. A comfortable flow and a mature and responsible, reasonable position and relationship with money which supports my life the way I want to live it. Money has always been associated with over-work, time out of my life, lack of freedom, not being wild and free and innocent. These are childhood and young adult beliefs. I am ready to take on a life which fully takes responsibility for myself and my needs. This in some way feels scary but very exciting. I can no longer rely on anyone else for support or a false net to fall back on. I don't want to manipulate anyone else for their money or expect that everything will be taken care of it I fall into a hole or a rut.

The tarot reading I received recently suggested three things about money: Three cards fell off the bottom of the deck which were blocking and hiding the Star card, which represents abundance, manifesting dreams, and good fortune. The reading suggesting that if I don't look at these three things, then my vision and dreams will be blocked. This unconsciousness around money blocks the universe from giving me what is coming to me. The universe wants to give to me. The three cards had to do with:

A) Giving my all to what i have in my life right now. Not doing just a B average, but giving an A for effort. B is for betrayal. In ceremony recently i received a message from God. God wants to see what we are doing with what we have already in our lives. Are we thankful, grateful? are we using what we have for good? Are we being resourceful and using our powers of creativity, skill, and heart to act and use our lives purposefully? This is important, because many of us take what we have for granted and are constantly thinking and waiting for what is coming next. Believing if we just focus on manifestation and visualization, we are calling what we "deserve" into our lives: The next job, the next relationship, the next best thing over that hill, if we could just see it, if we could just grasp it. All the time avoiding and stepping over the pitfalls in our own lives and wasting the abundance all around us. God is watching to see what you do with the grace you have received Now. Do you think you will receive something more if you are wasting the gifts you already have? So in my own life, how am I avoiding my job, my home, my body. These are gifts and I am learning to treat them well and use all of my energy and love into shaping and acting and working in joy and peace. This i know will make the fertile ground for the next phase of my life.

2) MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!

Money is neutral. It's what we do with it, how we hold it, and our beliefs which are corrupted and misguided. Money is a huge source for unconscious patterning, avoidance, and victimization/manipulation. It doesn't have to be this way!!!!! Money is actually very simply put our relationship to the Earth plane. A very 1st chakra relationship. If this is weak, we will feel it extended through our whole lives. Money (or we can call it en energy exchange with physicality and effectiveness on the Earth plane), needs to be in place or we will have little effect in our lives and how we can act and create in them. Money is actually an extension of creativity and love. God wants us to be prosperous, to receive the gifts of support and security so that we may do the work of divinity and love. This may be hard to hear, but it means you have a limiting belief around money. The belief could be that those who have it are corrupt and evil, that those who have it are privileged and spoiled, that those who have it are somehow better off and higher than those who don't. These are all false beliefs. The fact is our whole world is controlled by this very simple relationship and that in itself is very unbalanced. It should actually be a lot simpler than this. If economics and money handling and work ethics were taught and shared with an appreciation and respect for money and the general law of practical exchange with the physical world, things would be a lot more balanced. The problem is some are extremely lacking while others have way too much. Having an honest and clean relationship with money and work (part of everyone's life) is a very basic step for every human being. ESPECIALLY those in the new consciousness movement. The fact that we are controlled by our belief that money is "bad" effects how smoothly we may act and make change in this world. Money is an asset and taken with a healthy outlook can aid you in your freedom, wildness, activism, and spiritual passions.

3) Money will not take away your freedom. It will actually give you more freedom. You do not have to be a slave to your job. You do not have to sell yourself. Money may come easily and naturally. But first learn to balance your checkbook!

The First Leap- Finding Career Happiness And Keeping It (As An Example of Dreaming Our Unique World Into Existence)

The First Leap- Finding Career Happiness And Keeping It (As An Example of Dreaming Our
Unique World Into Existence)

By Davin Infinity

Knowing that we are going to spend our entire lives working for money, learning skills or creative expression -
then career happiness could be considered as important as spiritual growth. In modern times we are often forced
into this decision at a very young age where we could not possibly understand the importance of the decision or
have the information to effectively make it. As a result we find ourselves later down the road in jobs we don’t
enjoy, wondering where it all went wrong. Our current system is set up to finance capital gain interests and not
healthy, creative living. So we are wounded by our spirits need to find work that makes us and the planet feel
alive. No matter what you are doing right now, fulfilling happiness comes from your work being in alignment
with your true calling or “souls’ purpose.”
Thankfully, regardless of your current situation it is possible to make a change. I understand for some it is harder
than others due to commitment and financial responsibility, but it can be done. If we are to make a change
and experience career happiness then we need two things.
1 - We need to know what it is we really want to do.
And we must command it into being with precisive focus and a belief that it is for our best.
2 - Have a plan to make it happen. Only actions bring results. Use creative visualization to see the reults.
The new world is upon us and that means new career opportunities and more support for that which brings us
into alignment with creative conscious evolution.
So first, how do you figure out what you actually want to do? The best way to figure this out is to write down
the conditions and benefits you are looking for then work backwards. For example, I want:
-A job or business that allows me to work from home.
-I want to work in an field that benefits humanity and our children
-I want to work with clients and coworkers that are bringing change and are inspired to transform.
And so on...
Once you have this criteria identified and written down something great happens. Your subconscious takes over
and you just start to notice opportunities that you never saw before. You will start to move in that direction.
Things will start to take shape in a way that you never imagined possible. But you must decide to be healthy and
wealthy right now! True Wealth is:
-Knowing you are completely taken care of by mother Earth. For she is infinitely abundant and only wants the
best for her children. (Poverty consciousness has been a weapon created by empires to enslave us from our inner
powers of manifesting anything we want and manifesting the individual freedom to pursue it on our own.)
-Understanding that only you are in control of your reality and your reality is limited to what you believe in.
-Knowing that your bank account is only a direct reflection of your belief in yourself and your relationship to
gifts of energy-money and the level of service and giving you act upon with others.
-Wealth is sustained happiness, freedom, health, and service to others. These are the true earthly riches/values.
Make a decision today to be wealthy. Write down this goal, integrate into a vision board or carry the paper with
you at all times. Take a look at your goal every day: Today I decide to be wealthy. Your conscious decision to
make a choice is the beginning of all your journeys. The moment you make a decision your consciousness will
automatically start working on the solution to create that reality. It will be a lifetime journey to find within.
Secondly, we need a plan. Work on your new opportunity part time and grow it slowly until it is substantial
enough to switch to it full time. It will happen, it just may take a few more years than you hoped for, and need a
little more effort. What choice do you have though? Your reward for this is life long career happiness and a job
or business you love that lest you share your gifts to the world.

The Template

Receiving Resonance Medicine by Wahkeena Sitka Huva

Written in Response to the essay, “Tuning In!” published in the most recent issue of Conscious Dancer Magazine.

Listen to the sounds surrounding you now. Open your ears. What do you hear? In every moment, we are saturated in a vibrational field of sounds, resonating within the cellular chamber of our body. Our body receives every sound and energy pulsing through it, from the dump truck picking up trash first thing in the morning, to the sound of a bus beeping as it backs up, to the sound of a hummingbird hovering just above us out of reach, to the undulating pulsings of a deep throat singing tone. Every sound registers in our body, and if we are present enough to the sensations in our body as we sit in a Modern Urban environment, we can learn how to become vibrationally aware to the degree that our bodies are being constantly thwarted in its attempt to reside in a peaceful state of homeostasis. Our bodies have the capacity to experience deep states of blissfulness, relaxation and pleasure. And likewise, our bodies have the tremendous capacity to be overwhelmed by stress, tension, pain and irritation.

In the world of instruments, when one cello begins vibrating or one singing bowl begins vibrating, other stringed instruments and singing bowls nearby begin picking up that vibration and begin humming with a vibration in response – this is called sympathetic resonance. Likewise, our body instruments are subconsciously trained to respond to the world by the law of sympathetic resonance, and thus – in vibrationally contractive environments, in noisy, loud, scattered and jarring environments, we feel that down into our bones. And in response, we begin withdrawing ourselves; we begin putting up our shields so we don’t take in any more damaging stress from the surrounding environment. This is what it feels like to me when I walk the sidewalks of Manhattan – an overwhelming intensity is assaulting my subconscious field and my body in every moment, and in order to maintain balance within, it becomes crucial to disconnect from the surroundings, to put up psychic shields of self-protection and withdraw to safe, quiet environments.

But our bodies react much differently when we are in joyful, blissful, quiet or meditative environments. Due to our body’s sympathetic resonance response, in the presence of a body of moving water with a strong current and waterfalls, our body opens up to merge with the environment. It is the opposite of the contractive nature of sympathetic resonance in the city. Our body naturally wants to melt into a state of bliss, and that is possible in environments that are vibrationally conducive to pleasure – where our bodies open up and receive the sensual pleasures of moving water, the gentle rustling of wind through branches, the subtlety of our bare feet upon cold, damp mossy boulders.

Something altogether different can happen when we enter into a high energy state of making sounds – making music, and dancing. An elation washes over us like a waterfall pouring over our hearts – our spirit begins pouring through us with creative energy, the natural fire of our soul singing joy. Whether our creative energy takes the form of our voice channelling sound current through our vocal chords with the vibrations moving through our bodies, or hands upon drums creating rhythm – this is creative energy in its purest state. A natural energy moving through us without having to try to understand it – it moves through us and we become moved by the experience. And this, in sympathetic resonance, is moving to others, and causes others to move – their bodies.

For thousands of years, tribal rituals have taken place in the Nairobi desert in Africa, where the Bushmen live and dance all night long around a bonfire. An American shaman named Bradford Keeney has travelled to Namibia many times and danced with the Bushmen there, who are renowned for their shamanic abilities to reach transcendental states of ecstasy through all night dance ceremonies, which enables them to do their healing work. In the context of a village bonfire, with the women clapping and singing polyrhythmic songs, and the men dancing themselves into altered states of consciousness – the work of healing the village is done, by clearing the energy of the village by keeping the community heart centered and loving with each other. This is facilitated by the deep states of union and liberation that happen in the context of community up all night long dancing and chanting songs. The shamans are able to do their healing work when they have danced themselves into a transcendental oblivion, and they have built themselves up to a ‘boiling point’ of N’om in their abdomen. When their ecstatic energy has built up in their abdomen, they are then able to release it and discharge it like an orgasm having its release, and that high ecstatic energy IS the medicine. The shamans then apply their ecstatic medicine upon the bodies of the ill by laying on the bodies of those receiving, and undulating their spirit medicine into them and melting into them through deep states of trance. But in order for that ecstatic energy to be released, there must be a song and a rhythm to coax forth the ecstasy and guide it rhythmically along the current of melody.

Thus, song is shamanic. And our bodies are shamanic receptor sites – capable of moving tremendous amounts of healing energy when our hearts and bodies open up to respond with the sympathetic resonance of rhythm. Our bodies dance, our hearts expand to take in more, to drink deeply of the elation of our spirit catapulted into the joy of this song. And in the world of vibration and sympathetic resonance, we can uplift others to reach this healing vibration of ecstasy. We begin sending out the pulsations of a heart uplifted by joy and transcendance. This is our work as light workers – to be radio receivers transmitting the pulsations of an awakened heart – this is our pure light, our divine birthright and work.

There is so much distrust and fear on the planet. So many hearts un-opened. So many hearts that need to receive so much love, compassion and healing. So many hearts that simply want to be felt, recognized, understood – held in the arms of the mother, the divine mother of compassion. So many hearts and minds afraid to let go and surrender to the transcendental bliss beating within them if they would let themselves feel more deeply – the pleasure of song, the pleasure of love, the pleasure of bathing in pristine waters and the pleasure of being held in a warm, open-hearted caress. Sound, song and dance are some of the biggest tools we have to offer the world of fear. When looking into the glowing eyes of a joyful dancing goddess, swept up into the passion of the song catapulting her into a frenzied state of bounce, how can one bear resisting to sympathetically resonate with that state of joy. It is the natural impulse of the heart to desire being open, to be happy.

Thus, I was inspired to offer and facilitate Ecstatic Medicine vocal circles. The voice is our primary instrument – we are automatically endowed with it, it is free, goes with us everywhere, and can propel us into healing states if worked with intentionally. Our voice is also one of those aspects of many people that carries with it a level of fear, intimidation and insecurity. Having facilitated many vocal circles now, I have seen that many, many people are scared to use their voice and express feeling “blocked” in their voice; as though there is something holding them back or choking their vocal expression. The mind does amazing things to get in the way of our natural abilities to be birdlike and resonate with playful liberation.

Those who are gifted with a beautiful voice have been given a special gift to offer the world, a gift that has often been called “Having Soul” – a gift that can inspire many deep feelings: of beauty, of awe, ecstatic elation, tears, & chills down the spine. And the voice, when used intentionally in self-cultivation practices such as Yoga and QiGong and Reiki, can be used in such a way as to bring oneself into deep states of meditation and inner balancing. The voice is probably the best tool we have to access vibrational experience on a body-based, cellular-based level. And as the voice passes through our body chamber, we can experience so much vibrational resonance throughout our torso, lungs, heart, throat and head. This can help us direct our attention inwardly – into our felt experience of the body. Thus the voice is our primary meditation tool! We can cultivate a meditative awareness more easily when we focus our attention on what we experience in our bodies, combined with deep breathwork practice and internal energetic cultivation arts.

The basis of my entire practice is thus: the merging of inner attention cultivation practices, with sounding, vocalizations, breathwork, inspired by Qigong – then moving into practicing deep listening, resonating, primal sounding and chanting into spontaneous tribal song play. When participants enter intentionally into a sacred space with the focus on using the voice for inner cultivation and raising ecstatic energy, people open up and move into transcendant spaces. My work is very much a guided journey into the realm of channelling the celestial energy within the group – because at the heart of every person, is a divine essence seeking to be remembered and embodied. We are all divine embodiments of divine source or God / Goddess, wanting to know and experience love and deep states of union with the divine.

The magic happens when we attune our attention to listening and merging into group states of union. When we put our attention on the sounds we are hearing and feeling in our bodies, emanating from each others mouths, we are being bathed in a celestial choir – the beauty of each other’s sounds and voices offers us a space to merge with that sympathetic resonance and melt into harmonic bliss.

We are living in transformational times on Planet Earth, everyone can feel it – the period of Denial has passed. We all know it. Changes are afoot, and everyone has begun being lifted into greater and greater levels of transformational intensity over the last few years. For better or for worse, the old paradigm ways are falling away and we will be learning a new way of acclimating to a transformational Earth. In my shamanic, visionary awakenings – I have received visions and downloads about the transformation occurring on Planet Earth. And I believe strongly that we are living on a Planet that is about to undergo a dramatic energetic shift. While the message of fearing the Earth’s transformational process is being broadcasted in the media, I believe the real message coming from the Earth herself is that of an ecstatic rebirthing. Thus, if we wish to learn how to ride the transformative currents emerging from the Earth, we must learn how to be more embodied, more body-centered and intuitively body-based in our awareness – in order to listen to the Earth’s energy and be attuned to her knowledge and information.

I believe that as a culture – we must begin learning how to become more attuned to the Earth’s energy and information – by spending time in Nature, and learning how to feel more deeply. Too many have become hard crusted and disconnected from the Earth in urban environments. I believe that using our voices, using sounding, in combination with QiGong and practicing energy cultivation arts in Sacred Sites is going to become crucial in ones ability to understand how to feel the information emanating from the Earth through her time of rebirth. Thus my vision for offering healing gatherings is moving in the direction of facilitating celestial activation Ecstatic Medicine vocal circles in Sacred Sites around the planet.

When we learn how to trust our divine selves, and we learn how to open our hearts to trusting our divine guidance from the universe – we have nothing to fear. When we learn how to trust the energy moving through our voices and moving through our bodies, we can learn how to trust spirit speaking through us. When we learn how to trust our divine essence, we can learn how to trust the intuition and Divine Essence in another. When we learn how to trust the ability of the community or circle of friends to come together and co-create a channelling of that open hearted energy of union through sound, voice and movement, we can learn how to trust the ability of humanity to step up to the next level on our ascent on the evolutionary ladder. We are all in it together, and everybody has their own divine part to play in the story that is unfolding. None of us will make it unless we work together, create together, play together, cooperate together, love together and sing together!

You can Find Wahkeena Sitka Huva at http://illumin.escens.org/