Today

Morning time, woke up at 2:30 am last night and did not fall back asleep except for 20 minutes around 5am. Then stayed awake until 6:30 when I got up.

Feeling tired today, but I also feel that this is just a little challenge in the way of so much I have already overcome in my week. So much sadness, dissappintment and regret all washing away. So much I hold on to! Every day there is something that "Sticks" or can stick and if I am very aware I can see it and just simply let it slip away. This is my practice today. See what areises, in my tired and present state of awareness and watch it slip away, right in front of me.

My intention for the day is to remain calm, centered, present, quiet, and withing while giving what little energy I have to the flow of the day.

Thank You
Blessings

I Am So Happy To Be Here

By Orchid Jones

I used to leave my body to experience faith, wisdom, and harmlessness.
I used to travel to sky and back again to experience one drop of relief.
Today I am committed to my body.
Today I am willing to take care of myself.
Today I am calling myself home Again, Again, and Again...

The Sun crept in to the Sky for the Morning to Honor All Life
The clouds then crept over to cover
Like a blanket
The day filled with hope

There is no escaping this Place
For this Place is already Heaven
Knowing no other way
I sink into the hands of You
I bathe myself with Your Cloudless Love
I am a humble and happy servant
To this great task.

I am like that tree you have planted
And so unlike that same tree.
I feel this space beneath my feet
I touch it with my little toes
Small grasses and stones
I would sink in if I knew how.
But unlike the trees
I Am.

And so
With this aching heart
This profound gratitude for all life
I walk to meet You.

You are everywhere!
With this faith
I am untouched by my longing!
With this faith
I am longing to touch all life!
And speak:
Awaken!
Won't you walk with me?
Won't you touch and receive my touch?
Won't you let this precious stone into the folds of your hand
And feel?

I am a creature
A human creature
And I Am So Happy To Be Here
Thank You.

Writing again

Well I was snooping around on the internet, which I don't really suggest, because it is very time consuming and a little tireing, but i came across a blog and realized that I haven't written in mine in awhile and that I needed to write down some of the things that I have personally been experiecning.

One is profound healing. On a cellular, emotional and personal level. I have been clearing out old beliefs of "I'm not good enough", "There is'nt enough, or I am deprived", and "Iam a victim, powerless over my situation and reality." What I found to be at the bottom of these emotional blocks was a deep deep memory and trauma of not being honored as a child. I felt often alone, quietly in my own personal cocoon wondering when it would all be over or change into the birthright that deep inside I knew was my freedom and my spiritual and devotional life. Perhaps this all had to occur so that I can be where I am now - which is experiencing greater and greater levels of clarity, love, humour, empowerment, safety, release, creativity, energy and expression of my own divine intuition.

I started to ask the angels if I could work with them, I was calling on them, learning about them and basically opening myself up to their influences, what occured then was a series of miraculous dreams and intuitive voices which lead me to recieve an incredible healing that took place one night. I let them work on me for a 24 hour period and it started with streams of light being poured into my body and through all my systems. I just kept on opening up more and more to their influences and allowing their light to work with me. I began to trust, and that trust grew and grew until I felt a true faith arise and released completally. I had a lot of questions come up too and they answered them all beautifully and acuraetly.

Divine Wisdom in Oneness (God) showed up as a being of light and showered my whole being with healing light and presiouss love. He began to untangle the knots of self doubt and pain and misery and showed me the root of all my suffering: which was this deep belief and pain that I am not honored and that I do not honor myself. I saw how many of us as children are sujected to lives which do not resonate with the intense spiritual emotion and information that we are gifted with as we enter the world. Children are in tune with the angelic sounds of the cosmos and with pure feeling of reverence, oneness and open and clear love. When this is not honored in the child, it begins to question its very reality and if it is not reminded of its inherent beauty, it will begin to blame itself for the wrongness of the situation and take on the emotional disharmonies of the people and places around it. Unfortunately that is the case for most of us.

As a teacher and friend of children I see it as my opporunity and responsibility to start honoring children and their gifts they have for us. By doing this we can begin to instil in them a self trust, that when empowered and held, will manifest into that child's true creative will and help shape them into the human being that God intended. The child has to be given the instruction of how to use free will in connection with the heart. Ultimately it is always up to the karma of the child which direction it chooses to take, but the influence of the Adults and Teachers and Environments around it will have an incredible effect if they are in place to truly honor that human being and who they are.

A lot of time children experience deep emotions but do not have an avenue for working with them and feeling them. They are so strong that either the child will act out or retreat inward and become lost. With proper guidance, the child can begin to trust themselves and trust the adults around them that are their to really "see" the child.

What does it mean to see or honor another human being? It is to honor the God Creator in them and the divine beauty of the Sacred Mother in them. But it is more than this too. It is a living intuitive love which is shared with them in presence. It is an acceptance and unconditional love space held for that individual. It is like truly beholding a blossoming rose, without plucking it. Can one truly experience the full light of that rose in all its magnitude? It takes practice and trust and an open heart.

The Divine One then came to me in my heart and asked, what is the one thing you truly desire? I felt deeply and it was to be loved and to give love. To give and recieve love and to be in connection with God ALL the time ~ to feel this presence of complete trust, complete faith, complete relaxation and connection. That experience of giving and recieving love is the purpose of humanity, and is what we are here to learn about. When we love God, God is loving through us. By this nature, we can begin to open up our divine guidance and intuition and face the obstacles one by one and truly create a reality which befits the honor we all are learning to hold for one another.

This love I recieved was very powerful. It is still with me and is guiding me. It is clearing my old conditioning away from deep within my belly and heart. It is showing me how perfect I already am and is allowing me to recognize my own willingness to truly take care of and honor myself first. This, I think, has been the hardest part, and what we all are facing at this time. I feel that when I have a few years of truly loving and honoring myself under me, I can then begin to do the work I am here to do. I am already doing the work I am here to do, and it is just growing more accesable with the growing love I feel from Creator, from Divine Mother and from my own deep heart space.

The angles showed me a rock in my dream, which is a communication rock. A place for their insight to ground in. It was actually a crystal. I was recieving their information through a helper and through this stone. Three days later I was digging in my garden and found the same stone from my dream! I placed it in the Mesa in the center while in meditaion yesterday with my sisters.

These are not easy times. We are all called to do this work now: to release and dispell the negativity and harm that has been caused to us and which is suffocating the earth still. Know that the influences which want to tear you down and cause fear, shame, blame, anger, hatred and victimization cannot overcome the power to love. All life is supporting the goodness and love which is being born through humanity at this time. There is no other time. It is NOW.

True Heart Of Blessing

Youthful mind
Colorful sky
Free in the nature
From black and white clouds
Naked body
Meets naked space
Boundless mind
Experiences the Great Joy
Keep smiling
Keep smiling
And let out polluted air
With laughter.
Loving heart
Needs protection of view
Joyful yogini
Laughs with vajra HA
Transcend attachment
With pure passion
Fear is fear of fear
Raw fear is in the essence of joy
Raw joy is nothing but raw fear
Inseparability coils in the true heart of openness
Trust your heart of faith
Fly with full confidence of blessing. "
-Buddhism scholar and meditation master Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche

In this poem I see that Yes, True Raw Fear is the same as True Raw Joy. This I was able to understand through Pema Chodron's teachings. That if truly felt without the story attatched, then the energy of fear or any emotion is the same energy of Joy, Happiness, Bliss, just in a different cloak. But must it be different? Can't we use our power of perception and understanding to learn to see through the clouds and unwind the yarn and clear the clogged drain?

YES! YES! YES! We can have limitlessness, we can have willingness, we can have openess.

"In this journey of gain and loss
Let me have "loss" and let others enjoy "gain"
May I lose the attachment to the eight worldly dharmas
May I seize the fortress of equality "

Let us "seize the fortress of equality" !

I am not a buddhist, but I am very interested in the path of non-suffering, the path of peace and the path of clear love and insight.